speechless

even though i wasn't ready to get up this morning, i was

feeling pretty good...until i found out that last night someone

had pour a lot of cotton around outside of Mizzou's

Black Culture Center...i was shocked. i can't believe

this happened...you always feel invincible to these kind of

things until they happen to you.

i really don't know what else to say...i'm so sad for my school right now.

i'll admit, i stole these from facebook

and let me just add there's no such thing as a post-racial america just because Obama is president

"who dat ninja?"

yes yes that is another 30 rock quote..i couldn't help myself

so despite previous the post i had a pretty good day today,

was proud of myself because i was soo close to going back to sleep

this morning instead of going to class, BUT i got my butt up anyways

(glad i did, because my capstone professor only gives us one unexcused

absence for the whole semester and i figured if i'm going to use that free pass

it should be for a good reason ie hangover)

so i put some music on to help wake me up...that helped put me in a really

good mood which in turn made my class bearable.

i'll admit i still nodded off in my greek sculpture class..but i was a refreshing sleep.

listened to jazz while i had lunch..i felt like such a good grownup.

then! i talked to my mom and there's a very high chance i'll be

spending my spring break in san diego with her!! nothing is set

in stone so fingers crossed, but san diego?! soo excited!!!

(there would've been a youtube video of the clip from

anchorman when ron burgundy tells veronica corningstone

the meaning of the city's name which "is german

for a whale's vagina" lol but alas i could not find it)

had my weekly volunteering gig down at the Art League...it went

by pretty slowly because i was soo tired. was bad and got mcdonald's

for dinner again...have to admit it was soo good! but i was

kind of irritated with myself because when i

decided to get mcdonalds i had planned on getting a chocolate milkshake

but of course since i didn't write it down by the time i got there

i had forgotten until after i ordered..oh well the "chicken" nuggets

were still really delicioso.

i've come to the conclusion i have to marry

someone who is neat.

i am such a mess. there's currently a light yellow stain

on my sheets from when i was eating chips

and cheese dip in bed...i also have a bad habit of when

i'm done watching a dvd i just set it on top of the case instead

of just putting them back. sometimes i end up with 7 or 8 dvds

laid out around my tv...it's so sad. i think if i marry someone

who's neat their neatness will rub off on me. idk.

i should probably working on the bibliography and abstract of my

arts paper that's due tomorrow...i really don't want to.

i'm so glad i only have one more semester left, i'm so tired

of school...bad thing is i don't feel bad about failing at being a

good student. lord knows the last time i read for my greek

sculpture class...oh wells i guess.

i really want an owl tattoo...i'm thinking a small blue and

green on my left shoulder...idk..i want people to see

it though. but i definitely want an owl..possibly hooting

music notes..maybe i'll get a small

on my left wrist...or on my ankle. idk. guess i should

concentrate on getting the $ for it before anything else.

too bad i didn't have any pictures for this post

UPDATE: make that 2 cheese dip stains...lord help me.

(yelling expletives)

really?!

really?!?!

i hate it when someone who hurts my feelings and pisses me off can still make me laugh and smile. i don't get it. that pisses me off even more...it shouldn't be like that.

(more expletive yelling)

geez..

fun things

Found this fun little questionnaire over at Under Lock and Key (which is one of the cutest blogs btw)

If I were a month, I’d be June.

If I were a day of the week, I’d be Wednesday.

If I were a time of day, I’d be the time of night when the first few stars start to come out.

If I were a planet, I’d be Saturn.

If I were a sea animal, I’d be a starfish.

If I were a direction, I’d be East.

If I were a piece of furniture, I’d be a chaise lounge.

If I were a liquid, I’d be cream soda.

If I were a gemstone, I’d be a pearl.

If I were a tree, I’d be a dogwood even though they’re smelly.

If I were a tool, I’d be a corkscrew.

If I were a flower, I’d be purple tulips.

If I were a kind of weather, I’d be a nice, cool breeze.

If I were a musical instrument, I’d be the bagpipes.

If I were a color, I’d be dark purple.

If I were an emotion, I’d be love.

If I were a fruit, I’d be a pomegranate.

If I were a sound, I’d be the sound of a summer thunderstorm.

If I were an element, I’d be Ne. Neon.

If I were a car, I’d be a maroon Mini-Cooper with a crème stripe down the hood.

If I were a food, I’d be shrimp with buttered noodles and fresh parmesan.

If I were a place, I’d be the coast of Greece.

If I were a material, I’d be cashmere.

If I were a taste, I’d taste like grapefruit.

If I were a scent, I’d be cinnamon.

If I were an animal, I’d be a wild mustang.

If I were an object, I’d be a sewing machine.

If I were a body part, I’d be the lips.

If I were a facial expression, I’d be a laughing smile.

If I were a song, I’d be “Take Off Your Cool” Andre 3000 & Norah Jones.

If I were a pair of shoes, I’d be burgundy, patent leather mary jane shoes.

hump day

Soo after blog hopping through some amazing blogs earlier today I decided that I’m definitely going to start adding more pictures (even though my life is not very exciting whatsoever) AND on occasion do one of those “what I’m wearing” posts…even though I don’t own very many clothes which don’t help me show off my “style” ..and I am living in Columbia, missouri on a campus where sweatpants and slippers or uggs is the most popular form of dress …so I’ll just do it when I’m wearing an outfit I think is worth sharing

Sweatshirt: Delia’s (it’s about 2 sizes too small, but it was purple; on sale and the chandelier has tacky rhinestones on it

Cami: gma (no joke, when I was in high school for some reason my MarMar decided to give my sister and I some of her old pj’s and bras and this cami that was never worn. The cami was the only thing that stayed)

Grey courdaroys: Delia’s (I love these pants! They fit so well)

Black low top chuck taylors

My new favorite headband thingy it’s a yellow-greenish color…I love it for the odd color

As I mentioned before tonight was the opening reception at the Art League and I went…I felt so grown up dressed so nicely walking around the gallery with a glass of wine admiring the art…then I made the mistake of getting a 2^nd glass….how does a person even get drunk off of 2 glasses of wine?! Clearly I am not ready to be a real adult. But it was still cool, this show is definitely my favorite. Here is my favorite piece “History of Hummingbirds” by Susan Kissinger. These pictures do not do this painting justice. I just stood and stared at it tonight. If I had $675 just laying around I definitely would’ve bought it.

I hate to admit this, but the highlight of my day besides going to the reception was burning my Phantom of the Opera soundtrack back on to my itunes. I love LOVE that musical and the movie even more! Gerard Butler was AMAZING!! Definitely one of my favorite movies of his..besides Dear Frankie…and of course P.S. I love you It makes me sad to see him so main stream..unfortunately he has 2 strikes against him: the ugly truth and this new movie with jennifer aniston. Hopefully there won’t be a strike 3.

We watched this in my American Art and Culture art history class today, I’m definitely going to start listening to jazz more often:

decisions decisions

so my original plan for this summer was to complete

an internship at one of the 2 major art museums back home

in kansas city....BUT these past few weeks i've been leaning

more towards doing gallery work, including exhibition installation,

working with artists and all that jazz.

yesterday i was researching the internships and there aren't

any available in that area and they're unpaid so i'd basically

be volunteering in a field i'm not that crazy about

anymore and an area i don't see myself working in

until way into the future. then i looked up galleries and found

4 potential volunteering opportunities! after some family/friend

consulting of course and thinking i've decided to go with

the galleries. I'm really really excited.

in other news, my left eyebrow is filling back in nicely

(i made the mistake of trying to do my eyebrows myself this past weekend...lesson learned)

my only class today isn't until 4, i had every intention

of studying, but i'm soo tired...but i'm torn

because the to-go dining place i usually

eat at on campus serves fresh pizza from

12:15-2:15...if i go back to sleep than i won't get pizza,

but at the same time i'm really really tired.

i'm trying to resist making a thing of zebra cakes the first

thing i eat..if this is my only dilemma than i guess i'm doing pretty

well...didn't do the readings for class (as usual)

*sigh*

i guess i'll get up then take a nap after i eat.

the Art League is having its opening reception tonight

for the new "Tall Stories" it's definitely my favorite

of all the exhibits that i've seen since i started volunteering there.

i've never been to the opening reception so i felt so special when Diana the executive director asked me if i would come...i feel like a grownup lol.

ok plan for the day:

eat

library

class

opening reception

fasfa

hopefully not getting a nap in will help me sleep tonight

love lockdown? more like heart lockdown...

...if that makes sense.

i have a whole list of "standards" for my potential mate. i have a tendency to forget that the most important standard i should have is that he treat me with respect and like a queen. i deserve to be treated like a queen.

i'll admit that i'm not the most religious person in the world, but I love this:

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves."
-- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

my favorite is "love is kind" that sticks out to me, because it's what i believe in the most

i can't wait for love to find me again..

"let me set the mood right"

This post has nothing to do with the title, really.

So like the bad student I am, earlier today I had planned on skipping my only class for today which is at 4, because I’m just not feeling anything today (thank you possible depression). But I had to go to the Art League and help hang the new exhibit that will be on display until April. All we did was hang artwork for an hour and it put me in a much MUCH better mood. I loved it. So I guess I’ll go to class..blecch. I’m so glad I’m not taking any art history classes next semester…idk what I was thinking when I signed up for these classes. Ugh.

Thank goodness for Death Cab For Cutie…they will forever be my all time favorite band in the history of the universe and time itself (that’s a pretty important title to have) I love LOVE their music. It’s calming yet puts me in a good mood. I love it. (ok I told myself I was going to stop using the word love so loosely..that clearly didn’t last very long) I honestly don’t know what I’d do without them…they hold a special place in my heart.

I’m more than ready for spring to get here…I love mizzou in the spring/summer the campus is sooo gorgeous!! That’s one of the things that attracted me to the school…in high school I went to this “getting ready for college” workshop that everyone holds almost everyday for high schoolers and the presenter was going thru a “standard” list of things to think about when choosing colleges and one of the things she talked about was being able to picture yourself walking around the campus and hanging out or studying. And I could definitely do that with mu. (thank goodness they accepted me, it was the only place I applied to..against the wishes of my mother). Anyways the weather isn’t too bad, but the grass is still wintery dead and the trees look all shriveled up. So I can’t wait for everything to be green again. I took some pictures on my walk back to my dorm from the Art League downtown:

Memorial Union- built during WW1 (?)..

I should know this, but whatever

Jesse Hall- the main administrative building

(admissions, financial aid, reslife, etc offices)

also holds an auditorium for concerts and such

the infamous columns located on the Francis Quadrangle

(I hate to say that I didn't actually SEE the quadrangle part

until about a 1 1/2 ago..so sad) what's cool about the columns is that they

are remains from the first building on campus that was destroyed

in year 18-so and so whenever what have you. the columns have

lasted about 200 years. pretty impressive. another cool funfact is that

at the start of every school year the freshmen class walk through the

columns from jesse to signify their entry as new members of the mizzou community

blah blah and the graduating seniors walk through facing jesse to signify

their departure into the real world blah blah.

the chancellor's house.

(i've never been inside so i don't have a lot to say about it)

the end?

can't think of a title

I’ve been writing this post in my head the past few days, just now getting to posting as a result of my laziness.

Guess I’m out of my funk..kinda a little…I must say I’m officially really done with people’s bullshit. I don’t really mean people as in plural of a person, just one person in particular. Niave little me thought that regardless of my relationship past/current/what could have been with a person they wouldn’t continuously treat me like I was some run of the mill chick who didn’t mean anything to them. I’m done. Past done. i’m delete your # from my phone after almost 3 years done. When I talked to Bree about this for the thousandth time she mentioned that I just need to find a guy that will take my mind off things. I agree somewhat with that, but at the same time I believe that it’s very important to me that I get over things on my own (besides the advice from friends and family) because like now, I’m not always going to have a guy to rely on to boost me up emotionally and all that jazz entailed with moving past someone. As hard as it is to get over someone who held such an important place in your heart for so long, I’d like to do it on my own..it’s been tough, but I know I’m stronger because of it. This whole thing has DEFINITELY affected how I approach my relationships with guys now..but in a positive way.

Moving on I guess…so Friday I decided to change my career path again..kind of…I have decided to study African Art in grad school. I’ve always liked it…but I think I don’t need a standard foreign language for real to study it…is that rude? It probably is if that’s a key reason to want to study African Art. Oh well. Just another idea to ponder.

Last night was Angelica’s 22^nd birthday celebration..it was soo much fun!! I actually ate a whole sushi roll..all by myself!! (this is a pretty good feat for me considering sushi and I have never really been friends) however I did learn that it’s not a good idea for someone who never eats sushi to eat sushi then drink alcohol and dance right after. Well lesson learned, my stomach was killing me last night. But I still had a good time, we got a dance party going in the middle of the bar..it was pretty awesome.

Guess that’s all for now…I currently have a migraine..not a brain aneurysm (thanks google) so I’m gonna go nurse that.

tough toenails

i'm in one of my funks and i don't have anyone to give me bearhugs to make me feel better...and i refuse to ask the one person who used to give me the best bearhugs...*sigh*...i hate being in a funk..no fun

blah blah blah yea yea

I know it’s a little late for this, but I’m starting to think that maaaybe I should’ve taken some time off after high school before going to high school. I keep changing my mind about what I want to do with my life. For instance today during class I decided I wanted a degree in graphic design. I’m graduating this December. I guess I could get 2 bachelor degrees…idk. I’m just really REALLY bad at making decisions when it comes to my future. I just want to own my own gallery!!! If there was a way for me to go straight from college to that I definitely would. *sigh* lord help me.

Guess I’ll recap my valentine’s day weekend :

Friday- hung out at home

Saturday- went to my dad’s surprise party which was a big hit and had loads of fun, got wasted. went out with bree and kalisha; couldn’t find a place to go to so we ended up driving around kc

Sunday- v-day lunch/dinner with the girls at hooters, solo movie night watched “Medicine for Melancholy”…….that movie was AMAZING!!! I knew it was going to be good, but it was 100 times better than expected. Wyatt cenac is an awesome actor and it was really nice to see him in something other than on the daily show. Definitely my favorite movie now.

Monday-came back to como, missed my only class, even got some studying in

Overall it was a pretty good weekend…who needs a valentine when you can spend quality time with your friends

My song of the day or possibly the week..also one of my favorite songs of all time by my all time favorite band:

i yam what i yam

i'm the kind of girl who...

sleeps in her clothes way more often then she should for someone who is 21 yrs old

bloghops/facebooks/twitters/etc instead of working on a final draft of a paper due at 9:30am

doesn't find out that dry cleaning is literally dry cleaning clothes until 2010

drinks champagne from her waterbottle during class

can't get love off her brain and is constantly daydreaming

can forgive, but can't forget

who drunk texts

still believes in animal heaven

knows that she deserves the world and nothing less than the best.

loves herself, flaws and all.

true happiness

I may have mentioned my happiness before….but I’m going to talk about it again…

I am genuinely, truly happy. Regardless of school stress, people annoying me, etc. at the end of the day I really am happy. And it feels so good to be able to say that. I’ve been through the depression game before and it was the worst. It amazes me how much one single person could have on my emotions and how I deal with things; and how once that person isn’t in my life anymore things change, because I definitely have been there…more than once with the same person. But I’m good…really good. I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy for such a long period of time before. I think my high self esteem has a lot to do with that too…lord knows I’ve had issues with myself in the past, but over the past months I’ve really come to love who I am as a person as well as accept my body as is. Granted there are times were I diss my ever expanding thighs and muffin top and talk about myself to myself, but overall I love my body. I love my boobs, my hourglass figure, my freckles, everything. I’ll admit that it’s nice to hear that from guys, but to be able to say that to myself and believe it means so much more.

So yea. Had to get that out.

Anyways in honor of stupid valentine’s day coming up I decided to buy myself some flowers

Yes I took 3 different pictures…I just wanted to show the different views…I’m embarrassed to say that when I picked them out I actually asked for “more purple”…yep just like that lol. I think i love purple too much.

Going to see Brianna again this weekend super super excited! We had fun last weekend, but I guess we didn’t get all the partying out of our system lol it’ll be fun.

Back to fudge brownie eating and horrible reality tv watching

YA/JUVENILE FICTION

Hi, my name is Sydney I am 21 years old and 3 out 4 of my all time favorite books are for young adults. I never really thought about it until today when I got lost in the campus library looking for Walk Two Moons in the regular grown up section, when it was really located in the Juvenile section…and yes I had to ask for help. Not really one of my proudest moments. I swear I’m going to start reading grown up books…I just never have the time. Especially while in school. I am ABLE to read for fun, it’s just that I know myself and I’ll put reading for school second and it’s already hard enough not falling behind.

But I digress

I checked out Walk Two Moons, because I’m taking the shuttle home on Thursday for my dad’s surprise 50^th birthday party (which I’m really excited for, because 1. My dad will be half a century old!!! 2. I’ve never been a part of a surprise party). And I wanted something to read other than my school shizz which I know I should be reading, but whatevs.

This is my favorite book of all time…in the history of books…ever lol.

Thank you thenewberryproject.blogspot.com

So proud of myself, I studied for about 2 hours at the library all by myself this aftertoon…even though the main reasons I went to study were 1. My dorm was having a security drill thing which I hate so I bounced and 2. It’s freezing cold outside and I knew I wouldn’t want to walk across campus trekking through arctic winds….ok it’s not THAT bad, but it has been pretty cold here in good ol’ Columbia, Missouri (it’s also been snowing pretty heavily) when I left for my 9:30am class it was about 18 degrees but it felt like -7 according to weatherchannel.com (being here I’ve learned to dress according to the “feels like” temperature and not the actual temperature.

Walking across campus with slush everywhere is not fun. I have officially learned my lesson that rainboots aren’t necessarily meant for the snow too. As a result when I’m walking I mentally tell myself not to fall, because if I don’t I get cocky then slip and slide all over the place…which is really embarrassing when 50,000 people are walking around you. Guess I shouldn’t be complaining about the snow too much considering the east coast specifically d.c. is getting buried under snow. Yeesh.

These pictures are from outside my dorm window (it’s really dark, because I face a parking garage and I didn’t want anyone to see me so I took incognito)

My only class tomorrow is cancelled, I’m soo happy. Studying and laundry are at the top of the list. Might have a day of music….the noisettes kept me awake while I was studying today (thank goodness for them)

Song of the week:

(can't get it out of my head, i love it)

same ol same ol

Have I mentioned lately how dumb school is??

Well it is….i was cursing school before class even started.

And I’m pretty sure my teacher thinks I’m an idiot…ok he didn’t tell me to my face, but I’m sure that’s how he feels from the comments he wrote on my paper…even though this is the face I gave him when he handed it to me:

I wasn’t too happy.

And these 2 pictures depict perfectly how I feel right now…

and it’s not even 1:30 in the afternoon. I’m so over school…especially undergrad. And I’m really not feeling the whole grad school thing at the moment. Idk what I want to do with my degree anymore. I’m this close to just going ahead and graduating in May instead of December. My major gpa is pretty ok so if I decide to go ahead and do grad school later on down the road I’ll be good as long as I have a foreign language and blah blah.

Whatever. Guess it’s a good thing I’m going home for a few days. I know Brandon boo and Gingerbread will be able to cheer me up.

et tu, rum & coke?

i really

really

really

need to stop drinking...

or at least re-adjust my limit.

this past friday night...omg.

thank god friends right?

i really want to tell people what happened

(ok what was told to me by those who

weren't wasted) but some of my

activities are SO embarrassing and probably

qualify as a basis for an intervention......

so i'm just going to keepmy mouth shut.

poor liver.

antyways.

i'm currently working on wearing my semi-TWA

without any kind of headband or

hair-thing-a-ma-jig

(thanks to this gorgeous girl who i saw in the library last week rocking hers without a hair thing....i know super weird reason)

so yea...so far so good. angelica came over tonight

and said it looked good which made me feel

better, because she's had natural

hair for a few years now and always rocks her twa

without hair things in it and it always looks really nice.

that being said i'm also going to start styling it

more often.

so we shall see how that goes.

last week i decided i wanted a knuckle tattoo...

we see how far that goes lol.

*sidenote: was moulin rouge REALLY that bad of a movie??

after all this time i still love it (and know all the words)

i'm sitting here looking at these 2 articles i'm supposed to have read for my greek sculpture class tomorrow...they're on my nightstand just staring at me...

i know i know if i'm awake enough to blog and watch movies

then i should be awake enough to read for school.

.......

yep not going to happen...i'll just read them tomorrow during my first class.

i'm kind of ambivalent about having a snow day

people are talking about possibly having tomorrow..

i only have 2 classes which are back to back in morning anyway

sooo...yea. don't really care.

my freshmen year mizzou had its first school wide snow day since the 70s when my parents were here...

and apparently it was the only the 3rd one in the school's entire history of existence...because i'm lame i thought that was pretty cool..kind of like being a part of history..but once again i'm lame like that.

i was so proud of myself today i didn't doodle in my notebook during class!!

i know it sounds pretty small, but that's a pretty good deal for me

i am a chronic(?) doodler...it's really bad lol.

these are from last week:

yes i know i'm (i'm = my parents and the federal government) not

paying shitloads of money for me to sit in class and doodle.

but i can't help it, i have a wandering mind

*sidenote continued: i wouldn't really mind

another singing ewan mcgregor movie

guess i'll go to bed now....

*idk why blogger keeps messing up my line spacing...it's really annoying*