hello? is it me you're looking for?

oh lionel ritchie..lol (see title)

as usual i'm doing some major student failing at the moment..i have a paper due wednesday that i should've been spending the past 10 years of my life working on, but of course i didn't. instead i'm sitting in bed watching tv and hopping through blogs...there are so many good ones out there...wish i 1. had more to say then just meaningless rambles and complaints, 2. lived in a big city like chicago, or new york or dc or philadelphia (i have no idea how to spell that), houston or la ...i know i'm stuck here in columbia as a result of my circumstances, but still... 3. had more fashion sense..well i guess i like my style, i just don't have the means i.e money from a job...which i also don't have...it's so bad, i've been surviving off my parents..ok not plural, because my dad only sent me $ ONCE in my 4 years of college..no i'm not bitter at all...anyways...i work in the summers, just not during the school years. maybe it's out of laziness..idk really.
i guess what i'm really saying is that i can't wait live on my own...i know i'll probably regret saying "i can't wait" a few years from now when i'm paying for everything myself, but i am..i think it's from me being in school..i'm sooo done. my brain hurts oh so much.

anyways

so here's my plan for the next year:
summer 2010- museum internship (fingers crossed) maybe take german..i really don't want to but i know if i want to get into grad school it'll help ..whatever
fall semester 2010- start italian ( i know i know i'm super late, but whatevs), graduate
spring semester 2011- start my break from school, continue to take italian, find job or paid internship
then grad school ..idk..i feel less like a crazy, unorganized lady if i write it out


I really really REALLY can't stand holdiay jewelry commercials...they're so unbelievably cheesy and annoying..they make me cringe..and a lot of it is really really ugly...my future significant other in for a interesting ride with me..

so i've noticed (at least when it comes to my life) when things come to an end other things end too. for instance when another person and i end all things romantic..and right now communication as it were (i know that phrase doesn't belong there i just wanted to use it) other things in as well...like plans for the future. i had planned on going to new york for spring break...well thanks to the events that happened over the past few weeks i kinda threw those plans out..so now it looks as if i'll be spending my senior year spring break at home..for the second year in a row...at least last year angelica was staying with us..i guess i could go stay with my grandparents in arizona again...key words "i guess" idk. it's whatever i guess. also i have an artpiece i've been hiding under my bed so no one will know it exists, mainly because i'm embarrassed this whole situation thing even happened. anyways so the artwork is there..taking up space. do i keep it? i really don't want to...i'd prefer not to have it mock me. or do i send it to the person it was made for? i'd prefer not to do that either, because then i'd have to ask the person for their address..not really wanting to do that either. *sigh* idk..i guess i have a whole semester to think about it, seeing as how i don't move out until may.
plans and artwork

last thing...kids...in no way do i want kids. people tell me "oh you'll change your mind when you get older and blah blah blah"...no i won't. when i say i don't want kids..ever...i mean it. i can't stand being in clothing stores having to manuever past strollers, i can't stand when parents can't get their babies to stop crying. small children annoy me. i hate pretending people's babies are cute...all babies look like nasty wrinkly raisins until about 6months...yea i said it..etc etc. i can't stand the monthly beating my lady parts recieve and people expect me to go through labor?! don't think so.

i guess that's all...i was going to talk about my on and off love/hate relationship i have with my hair, but seeing as how it took me over an hour to write this post thanks to my horrible attention span...and having the tv on i guess i'll end it. time to get food anyways.

dirty bomb fuzzy glove

so a few days ago i found out that my school has 11,096 undergraduate male students...and yet a sister is still single. i have been single since may of 2008...i think...let me think about it..yea since last may. which doesn't seem like a long time, just over a year. but in reality it seems like forever ....why me lord? i really am starting to believe i was an evil doer in my past life. so unfair. i have freckles for petesake!! and an awesome gold nose ring..I'm a catch! I still know all the words to every backstreet boys song...i could do a one girl show of phantom of the opera, moulin rouge and pride & prejudice! i'm not THAT messy...i may acquire a few crumbs from eating in bed, but nothing too extreme. i have a cute, short curly fro-thing. w.e at least i have my health.

things i want right now
1. a slice...or 2 or 3 of my great-gma ferne's homemade apple pie
2. a red or navy peacoat with toggle closures
3. a car
4. shrimp
5. strawberry pop
6. a cuddle buddy
7. flat tummy...abs wouldn't hurt
8. diamond stud earrings
9. . a gold ring with a pearl
10. a better gpa
11. a working tv
12. contacts

when i was younger i always envied geni from i dream of geni and samantha from bewtiched, because they always got what they wanted thanks to their magical powers. i used to wish that i could wiggle my nose and move my head to make my room clean. oh to be young again

ex lovah has officially joined the grown up world. *insert major dramatic unnecessary sigh*
as dramatic as i am i'm happy for him.

i would just prefer for the universe to not be so against me right now......once again i have my health

2 bad habits i've acquired lately: sleeping in my clothes..which i guess isn't really a bad habit, i just shouldn't do it..ok i guess i can..idk. 2nd taking benedryl to help me fall asleep. i know it's probably really really bad to do, it makes my sleeping life easier.

ok no more mopey sad emo ramblings, happy time for the rest of this post!

GOOD NEWS TIME!

• my favorite show The Office starts back up again sept 17th. must find a way to get season 5...i'm technically not supposed to be student charging at the bookstore anymore since i ran out of $ to pay for school. so we shall see.
• 30 rock starts in october....so far away but excitement is still being expressed on my part
  went to academic retention services yesterday and had major help in planning my future...which took a lot of stress off my shoulders...whoo whoo!
• got my beef n broccoli w/white rice fix today...who knew mall chinese food could taste so good?! Yummers !
  

still working on tattoo #2. i want another one soooo bad!! it's addicting. mmm christian bale = yummy. (im watching the dark knight) i've heard people (mostly media) say bad things about maggie gyllenhaal's looks...not cool. 1. she's super cute 2. she's an awesome actress. ok i think she's really cute and a good actress. speaking of my opinoin, why on earth is miley cyrus of all people a part of vh1's divas live show this year after 5 f-ing years of the show not happening?!?!?!?! i'm super pissed!!! what about REAL performers?! beyonce? shakira? jennifer hudson? taylor swift? women who can actually sing!?! ugh!!! damn you vh1!!! whatever. miley can blow me..can't stand her.
ok time to cool off...

well i guess that's all for now...in a much better mood now.

(insert title here)

so for the past I don't know how many weekends (not including last sat.) my fri/sat nights have consisted of me planted in front of the tv with my computer watching the nightly CSI: Miami marathons on A&E....tonight i just realized how sad that was...mainly because once they started the episodes over again I realized how long I had been watching. I always feel like I should read a book or do a science experiment or something after watching tv for hours and hours, my brain always feels like mush. Also I felt dizzy for a good part of the day including right now...it's weird because I feel dizzy while I'm sitting down. I had 2 consecutive doctor's appointments this week because my body is slowly breaking down on me. I had to get blood drawn which really hurt (I don't care what anyone else says those needles hurt like hell). my mom thinks I'm either anemic or diabetic....whenever she diagnoses me I'm always so tempted to ask her where she got her medical degree from, but I always opt out....I may be dumb but I'm not stupid (or however that saying goes).


Still in the process of "letting go" that special person... Friday I was in suuuuch a bad, mopey mood. I tried listening to India.Arie, because she's the homie and she always makes me feel better...somehow she ended up making me feel worse..not sure how. But i didn't hold it against her. So yea..one of these days I'll be cured. ahhh dizziness!!! this can't be good at all. Anyways yes so currently I am looking for a bf, but I know if i keep saying that finding one will take longer. I really do believe in that whole "good things come when you least expect them" or whatever the saying is..that's what happened with my ex, total surprise. Oh and about that whole "ex" business. so I went to a party last sat. night and made a new friend. We ended up talking a few hours about different stuff, and of course past relationships came up. It was weird calling my ex "ex" because when I talk about him to everyone else I just call him by his first name, but anyways it was weird because it kept reminding me that 1. we've been broken up for about a year now and that's a long time (actually longer then we were together...irony? no that's just how my life goes) 2. he was my first real real bf.

..damn I forgot my point....oh well. probs for the best.

all in all I do want a bf....not sure why though, because I'm actually doing pretty ok being single but it would be nice to have someone to cuddle with...that's when i get the loneliest is at night...oh well.

I really want to end on a happy note....so here it goes: