(insert title here)

so for the past I don't know how many weekends (not including last sat.) my fri/sat nights have consisted of me planted in front of the tv with my computer watching the nightly CSI: Miami marathons on A&E....tonight i just realized how sad that was...mainly because once they started the episodes over again I realized how long I had been watching. I always feel like I should read a book or do a science experiment or something after watching tv for hours and hours, my brain always feels like mush. Also I felt dizzy for a good part of the day including right now...it's weird because I feel dizzy while I'm sitting down. I had 2 consecutive doctor's appointments this week because my body is slowly breaking down on me. I had to get blood drawn which really hurt (I don't care what anyone else says those needles hurt like hell). my mom thinks I'm either anemic or diabetic....whenever she diagnoses me I'm always so tempted to ask her where she got her medical degree from, but I always opt out....I may be dumb but I'm not stupid (or however that saying goes).


Still in the process of "letting go" that special person... Friday I was in suuuuch a bad, mopey mood. I tried listening to India.Arie, because she's the homie and she always makes me feel better...somehow she ended up making me feel worse..not sure how. But i didn't hold it against her. So yea..one of these days I'll be cured. ahhh dizziness!!! this can't be good at all. Anyways yes so currently I am looking for a bf, but I know if i keep saying that finding one will take longer. I really do believe in that whole "good things come when you least expect them" or whatever the saying is..that's what happened with my ex, total surprise. Oh and about that whole "ex" business. so I went to a party last sat. night and made a new friend. We ended up talking a few hours about different stuff, and of course past relationships came up. It was weird calling my ex "ex" because when I talk about him to everyone else I just call him by his first name, but anyways it was weird because it kept reminding me that 1. we've been broken up for about a year now and that's a long time (actually longer then we were together...irony? no that's just how my life goes) 2. he was my first real real bf.

..damn I forgot my point....oh well. probs for the best.

all in all I do want a bf....not sure why though, because I'm actually doing pretty ok being single but it would be nice to have someone to cuddle with...that's when i get the loneliest is at night...oh well.

I really want to end on a happy note....so here it goes: