Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Monday, March 16, 2009



right now I'm supposed to be working on a paper for my French civilization class which I also have to present to my teacher tomorrow (technically today i guess) and clearly I'm not. I also have Rihanna's "Disturbia" stuck in my head (hence the title). I only know bits and pieces of the chorus. anyways, so I've been single since about last May and i go back and forth with wanting a relationship and staying single for awhile. Right now I'm in my "i do what i want, I'm happy being by myself blah blah" single stage. Basically the stage where I'm not bitter towards couples and love and all that jazz; and at the same time happy and ok that I'm single. Which brings me to the main reason for this entry. Last summer after my ex and I broke up, I wasn't really looking for anything (mainly because we had been together for quite some time and the break up was kind of hard to deal with) so i was in my "loving being single" state of mind. Idk what it is, but I got hit on more times during the summer then I have in awhile. I feel like guys know when i want a bf and when I don't. When I'm sad and lonely no one is to be found, but as soon as I embrace my singlehood/dom they all want to come out of the woodwork. The same thing happened tonight. some guy who I've never spoken to in my entire life had the nerve to ask me if he could call me, even after I said I didn't have a bf and that i wanted to just enjoy being single right now. What is it with some guys? UGh!!! whatevs though. I have bigger things to worry about....like getting my csi: ny/miami fix on. dang internet!

cleaned my room today...it must have been pretty bad, because it smelled even after I took out the trash...not a good sign. I'm surprised some weird kind of Gollum-like creature didn't pop out.

dreading going to class tomorrow. I layed in bed til 4pm today...it was so nice. just 5 more days til I can lay on the couch all day in my pajamas with my dog watching tv. I'm really anxious to get my heart tattoo. Still trying to figure out where to get it...but i definitely am getting a tiny heart. But not the fancy designed kind...just a simple heart, outlined in black, shaded with red. I'm thinking the same shape heart that comes in the Shapes tool in the Paint application for computers. just something simple and small. ..maybe sleeping for most of the day was a bad idea, now i don't want to go to sleep and I can't stop typing. dangit! just realized my csi: miami episode could've been loading this whole time.

a part of me wishes Obama wasn't so attractive, because the main reason i watch his tv appearances is because he's sooo good looking!! which makes me feel bad (this doesn't count towards his address to congress, i genuinely watched that for political purposes....ok 60% political 40% to oogle him..and Michelle). for instance today..yesterday? he had a sit down with the president of Brazil. I watched until my boredom overtook my lust (total viewing time: 10 mins max) he's just too good looking for his own good....wow that sounded creepy and disgusting. That's probably my cue to just end this.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

you're magnetized!!!!

so I have the tendency when I eat something and I really really like it, to say that I could live off of it for the rest of my life. and being the person that I am, that list is pretty long. But I'd have to say that I could definitely definitely for sure live off of noodles with butter and parmasean cheese......it's soooooo good!!! but any who. I can't wait to go home for spring break and see my family. i didn't think I would miss them so much, but I do. I really really miss my little brother. and my puppy dog.

(I couldn't decide which picture I liked the most)
she's soo cute!

Anyways I'm watching "Under the Tuscan Sun" and I love this movie the more and more I watch it....this is only the second I've watched it, but I still really like it...Diane Lane is awesome!!! I'm always for the movies with women being independent and man-free and all that jazz.

the end, off to make buttered noodles and parmasean cheese.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

to whom it may concern

dear sir,

i miss you so much....and what sucks the most is that i can't have you back. i can still feel your hugs after all this time. at night when i'm laying in bed, if i close my eyes real tight, i can feel you next me. this is the worst feeling ever. i've tried on so many occasions to rid myself of my feelings for you and i have yet to achieve it. for some reason my heart just can't let go....it's still missing the piece you took with you. a part of me still regrets not getting a proper goodbye after our last visit......but the other part of me isn't ready to say goodbye....most of the time i'm at my wit's end over here trying to bury these feelings and put on a happy face and pretend that i really do only see you as a friend. it's so hard. i really don't know what i was trying to say to this...i guess just that i miss you......

love sydney