Monday, October 26, 2009

it's my party and i'll cry if i want to

i hate school

i want to be in new york with him

school is dumb

pretty sure i have light insomnia (if that's even a thing...not full insomnia, but i'm getting there)

my face looks like a connect the dots activity page, because of my zits, which i think are probably payback for the countless times i thanked god that i never got acne...this sucks

even though i gave in and got my eyebrows waxed for homecoming, i feel like it hasn't made a difference

even though bree and i had a really fun homecoming weekend, i wish she went to mizzou so we could hang out more...thank goodness we'll both be home next summer

for some reason my mom thinks i'm too serious

im sick and tired and sick and tired of hearing about and seeing relationships. everyone is in a relationship but me...and the one person i want to be with is a gazillion miles away...i need a relationship buffer zone...or brick wall or something

i miss him gobs..and it's not fair.

ok i guess im done bitching...for now

Thursday, October 22, 2009

"reverend blue jeans"

i'm really only posting a second time today, because i have volunteering at 2:30 and if i lay down i'm not going to get back up sooo here we go!

today in my African American Women in History class began a documentary on Ida B. Wells...i knew she was a revolutionary and a radical, but she was a badass!! She walked into President McKinley's office and straight up told him that he was not being radical enough in pushing anti-lynching legislation!!! ANNND she protested the 1892 Columbian Exhibition in Chicago, because blacks weren't represented...she's amazing!! whew!

pretty proud of myself, because somehow i managed to eat 2 tacos and a thing of nachos without spilling ANYTHING on me!! that's pretty rare for me.

kind of felt bad because i had a cigarette before noon on my way to class...but at the same time it made me feel good...and it kept me from being bitchy to everyone wins!

it's raining kittens and puppies outside (not quite cats and dogs, but it's getting there)

view from outside my dorm window....
i love this campus during fall

i love my boots!
on a campus of 20,000+ students i have yet to see someone
with the same boots, even after a year!

i haven't had candy in i think over a week.....i'm going crazy!! i have cravings out of this world! probably for the best i guess because of the whole cavity thing. whatevs.

if it's still raining after i'm done volunteering i have a feeling i'm going to be in the bed with away we go on...i wonder how many times i can watch that movie before i get tired of it...

"i had it allllllll"

this post is being written instead of writing a revised paper..that is due at 11am...that currently only has 3 paragraphs...and needs to be at least 2 pages...oh well

anyways so alicia keys has a new song out and of course it's AMAZING! and sadromantic (yea that's a word!) the only problem is the fact that she is supposedly dating music producer swizz beatz...who is currently in the middle of a divorce...but not completely divorced...and they've been dating a for months...yea sadness. why alicia why?! i thought we were homies! how can you be the almost practically other woman?! not cool....buuuut your song is still good..soooo yea. here it is: (for some reason i can't embed videos anymore....stupid computer...but i guess i should be grateful..blah blah blah)

so random thought: rainn wilson is awesome!! not only does he do an amazing job as dwight on the office, but his tweets on twitter (is that redundant?) are always so insightful, hilarious and just plain cool AND his new nba commercials are pretty funny as well....i guess it's not that random of a thought since i just saw one of the commercials...

i have officially learned my lesson about falling asleep with the tv on the nickalodeon channel, because i woke to dora the explorer after having THE weirdest dream about her and Prop Hat8 bill in was off the wall.

sooo excited for homecoming this weekend, bree and i are going to have sooo much fun!! "all the single ladies, all the single ladies"! lol ...speaking of which why am i just now watching those videos of the babies dancing to that song?! ...ok maybe just one's soo cute and really funny!

well i guess i should get back to this paper....ugghhh i hate school!! (at least right now)

...and all that jazz

so things have been going pretty well lately...well except for the whole school thing...monday and wednesday i took off from class..well classes..plural classes..i literally stayed in bed all day...ALL DAY...well ok maybe until 2 on monday, but on wednesday i didn't get up til lie! well i did get up to go to the bathroom....i know i know i'm such a bad student..but i was really tired!

so for some reason the "awaken" song by arcade fire makes me want to cry...i thought it was the combination of the song with the where the wild things are movie preview, because i definitely teared up when i watched the preview in the movie theater, and i want to cry whenever it comes on tv, but when i listened to the song on youtube i wanted to cry i'm guessing it's the song..idk.

i must say i am really loving my friends lately....espeically my two best friends angelica and brianna. i love that i can always count on them to be there for me when i need them...gotta say i'm one lucky gal.



since i'm back on my weird staying until 2-3am sleep schedule i've started watching "roseanne" again...i love the banter between roseanne and dan it's so endearing and sweet in their own way. it's great to watch..and makes me all warm and lovey on the inside...

tuesday was "love your body day" (i know i know we should love our bodies everyday..which i do...85% of the time) it's a day set aside to publicly promote positive body image(ry ?) in BOTH men and women. this year's theme here at mizzou was "tweeting positive body image"..or something like that some pictures:

a screen printed poster, i was supposed to write something
under "because" but i liked the poster as is

my t-shirt, the personal statement is supposed
to be like a twitter response to negativity

"i love all of my curves" i know not much of a
"take that negativity" statement, but i wanted
to say it anyways

the back of the shirt

so i sent this song to ex almost made me cry...

Monday, October 19, 2009

tired happiness

i'm super tired right now, but really happy....i must say skype is the best invention ever. ever. ok mb not ever but it's definitely on my list along with tupperware, easymac, cranberry sierra mist, those tuna kit meal things, wireless computer mice, (i swear my original list is better and longer ...almost inserted that's what she said, but it seemed like a stretch) anyways yes i love skype because i get to see people.

that's all.

now i'm going back to sleep after writing once again another crappy paper...feels good to be taking a day off from school on a monday..i know i shouldn't but i've already made up my mind..i'll just pay for it later.

here's a special poem (i love it):

Her Lips Are Copper Wire

whisper of yellow globes
gleaming on lamp-posts that sway
like bootleg licker drinkers in the fog

and let your breath be moist against me
like bright beads on yellow globes

telephone the power-house
that the main wires are insulate

(her words play softly up and down
dewy corridors of billboards)

then with your tongue remove the tape
and press your lips to mine
till they are incandescent

Written by Jean Toomer (1894-1967)

Thursday, October 15, 2009

oh me oh my

i must say one thing i love about relationships are the inside glad i remember them too....i'm also glad other people remember them as well.

(in case you haven't noticed these are pictures representing

inside jokes between me and ex lovah.....)

currently watching eternal sunshine....another great movie i could watch on loop.


i guess all i can say is that i can't wait until march...i'm going to try and keep it a secret until all my plans are'll be hard, but i know i can do it. (excitement!!)

away we go

geez louise i love this movie
i swear i could watch it 20 times in a row
and not get tired of's soo good!!

best movie poster ever

favorite line from the movie: "Yea my tilted uterus is a fucking secret!!"

john krasinski does THE BEST casey casum (sp?) impression

(i can't wait to watch it with ex lovah)

smooches la rue

soo today was a purrdy good day. skipped my first class to write a shitty paper..thank the lordy for teachers who don't give credit for first drafts!

chatted with ex-lovah today...we had a good conversation lol. i have a bad habit of reverting back to my old relationship behavior when it comes to talking to him by wanting to talk all the time everyday and getting sad when he has to go. but lately i've been getting better....sort of...i know he's really busy being a grad student and all that..i just get used to talking to him that i want to talk to him on a regular basis. but i know that won't happen...i've accepted that. which is why i just take advantage of any conversation he can squeeze in. it makes me feel better knowing that he still wants to makes me smile because he'll apologize for not being able to chat long or taking a long time to respond to my messages or not being able to talk at all. i always tell him it's ok and no big, because it's really not. just the fact that he responds means a lot to me. we're supposed to skype this weekend (his suggestion we skype since now he has a new computer and this weekend since he's free)....this is going to sound weird, but i'm kind of nervous, because it's been over a year since we've seen each other...i know skype isn't a physical face to face meeting, but still....after more than a year of emails, texts, phone calls, fb messages/chats, skype is the closest thing we have. i can't wait..thinking seeing him reminds me of his first visit after we started dating...we both were so nervous. i remember i was outside in front of my dorm and he was walking thru the parking lot across the street, we were on the phone talking to each other and i was looking for him but i couldn't see him even though he could see me...then he crossed the was like a scene from a movie (as cheesy as it sounds) butterflies and all...

well i guess that's it...i can't remember my main reason for this post so i'll end here...

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

can i haz?

i want this ring!!! (more than the other one i posted) ok i actually want this to be my wedding/engagement ring. i'm kind of an unconventional girl when it comes to some things...this is it. this ring is absolutely gorgeous!

weddings in general have been on my mind lately...probably because some friends and i got into a somewhat heated debate about the institution of marriage last night. then i watched the wedding episode of the office...definitely shed some tears during the was suuuuch a good episode.

guess that's all...

Monday, October 12, 2009


got another amazing message tonight...i almost posted it, but i decided not to..idk keeping important things to myself helps keep those thoughts and words pure...if that makes sense. it makes them extra special b.c only i know about them *sigh* i love these messages...they leave me speechless....i'm so so glad i never gave up...that being said here's a song that sums up my feelings...i love it....and the video fits so well...

Sunday, October 4, 2009

missed things

soooo at approximately 12:57am yesterday morning i recieved the best message i could ever recieve...ok maybe one of the best. it really made me happy

that's all...

finally posting this picture...been wanting to do this it is.

one of my favorite pictures....

things n more things

a list to remember for future reference...b.c lord knows i'll forget:

boston university
american university
georgetown university
university of maryland
george mason university
ohio state university
university of virgina

....list of possible grad schools....although i decided to take time off before attending, i decded to make a list because i seriously have no idea where i want to go..i've narrowed it down to the region that i want to go to ...northeast..with a few midwest stragglers. i would love love LOVE! to study in d.c. idk...we shall see...