happiness

one thing i really like about my life, is that somehow i've managed to be happy without a stimulus (i think i used that word correctly) nowdays (the last year or so) i can be happy without having fun with my friends, spending time with my family, listening to music, etc. granted those things DO make me happy, but i can now be happy on my own. for instance i'm sitting here on my bed on the computer doing absolutely nothing special and i can say i'm genuinely happy. such a good place to be in. i love it.

rockin natural hair for 2 years

soo i have officially been au naturale for 2 years (go me!) and i couldn't be happier. i love LOVE my hair in it's natural state. it's so much healthier...and much more versatile. i'm so proud to be natural.

here's a few pics depicting my interesting and entertaining journey:

i decided to go natural in february 2008,

started cutting it off in random

places and doing permrod rollersets

lord have mercy this was the worst

in between hair stage ever lol

full on natural, fro stage

late may-early june 08

blown-out fro

new year's 2010

happy is as happy does

so i've been single for about

2 years now...and let me say

it has been an interesting ride.

i've had a few gentleman callers along

the way..been on a date (i wish i could say

"or two" but i seriously i've only been on 1

date in 2 years)

and lord knows my ex and i have gone

through it trying to figure out our feelings.

which in turn has had a crazy effect on me and

my emotions

BUT

it feels good to finally be happy and embraceful

(idk if that's a word or not) of my singledom.

i have one good guy friend, a male aquaintance

who i see occasionally..and that's it.

i'm "prospect" free and for some reason i'm loving it!

and i must say it's nice to be on a strictly platonic

friendly not talking about our feelings level

with ex lovah.

i like our chemistry..we were chatting

tonight and i wanted to rant to him

like i did to bree because i knew he

would make me feel better.

somehow we didn't make it there

and yet i was in a good mood

at the end of the conversation,

i messaged him a few days ago during one of

my many freakouts over my unknown

plans for the future....here are his lovely

insightful words of wisdom:

"go to new york or san diego.

go to grad school.

smoke some green.

breathe.

there ya go."

i couldn't help but laugh. i hate to admit it

but that did calm me down a bit lol.

anyways, long story short i'm pretty happy

i have no idea what i want to do

with my life as of yet, but

that's ok.

one day at a time, that's all i can do

(here's a picture of happy sydney....it's one of my faves)

true happiness

I may have mentioned my happiness before….but I’m going to talk about it again…

I am genuinely, truly happy. Regardless of school stress, people annoying me, etc. at the end of the day I really am happy. And it feels so good to be able to say that. I’ve been through the depression game before and it was the worst. It amazes me how much one single person could have on my emotions and how I deal with things; and how once that person isn’t in my life anymore things change, because I definitely have been there…more than once with the same person. But I’m good…really good. I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy for such a long period of time before. I think my high self esteem has a lot to do with that too…lord knows I’ve had issues with myself in the past, but over the past months I’ve really come to love who I am as a person as well as accept my body as is. Granted there are times were I diss my ever expanding thighs and muffin top and talk about myself to myself, but overall I love my body. I love my boobs, my hourglass figure, my freckles, everything. I’ll admit that it’s nice to hear that from guys, but to be able to say that to myself and believe it means so much more.

So yea. Had to get that out.

Anyways in honor of stupid valentine’s day coming up I decided to buy myself some flowers

Yes I took 3 different pictures…I just wanted to show the different views…I’m embarrassed to say that when I picked them out I actually asked for “more purple”…yep just like that lol. I think i love purple too much.

Going to see Brianna again this weekend super super excited! We had fun last weekend, but I guess we didn’t get all the partying out of our system lol it’ll be fun.

Back to fudge brownie eating and horrible reality tv watching

back from the dead

i think the title fits pretty well..in blog terms since it's been almost a month since my last post...let's just say i was going through some thangs ...ok just one thing really. it was really hard but i'm good now. for real good not "oh yea i'm happy but i'm really covering up my sad" but i can honestly say i'm genuinely happy and i haven't felt this way in awhile. even though i'm stressed with school/finals/plans for the future, and i'm as single as a girl can get i'm still pretty happy. which is a good sign. anyways, so i'm in a slight delimma...i'm really into this guy i met, but he has a girlfriend...sidenote: i developed feelings for him before i found out he had a gf. so lately i've been keeping a distance...at least trying to, because i don't want to overstep any boundaries. i refuse to be "that girl"..i've been cheated on and it is THE worst feeling in the world....as unfair as it is, because he's a great guy and she's in texas while he's in kansas...ugh. whatever. gotta keep in mind my morals.

this semester went by soo fast...as hard and crazy it was...fast. so excited to go home for break..granted my siblings and i will probably kill each other i'm still looking forward to it.

here's some pictures from my haitus:

our family christmas tree, we've had
the same fake tree for about 15 years

the plaza lights

more lights

a cinderalla carriage

my peach cobbler...made it all
by myself! turned out really
good too

on my way out

the best puppydog ever

dan and i

waiting in line to see
regina spektor

regina spektor

the were soo serious about
no cameras, so i only
got these two. but the concert
was still AMAZING!!

good good good

soooo things have been going pretty well for me lately. new computer, moneys, my heart problem isn't serious, my confidence is skyhigh..I think that's it so far. oh my geography class is going really really well...I always did like geography. I'm thinking about taking a GIS mapping class..key word thinking. definitely getting my heart tattoo. fa shos.

saw "away we go" with the bestie a few days ago..soooo good!! I'm really proud of both john krasinski and maya rudolph for breaking out and doing it successfully. they were amazing!!! and the soundtrack was really good too. so on this awesome blog there is a reoccurring post called "happy lists" (i believe...i may have made that up). and she has people submit a list of ten things that make them happy. I started one weeks ago ..i got to 15 or so. but i decided to write a new one without thinking. so herrre it goes:

Sydney's top ten happy list:
1. deep, passionate, knee buckling kisses
2. heart to hearts with friends
3. food
4. hugs
5. good music
6. my favorite tv shows
7. christmas time
8. naps
9. the fam + ginger
10. sweetpea body spray


yay!!! wasn't that hard.

i guess that's all.