she works hard for the money

..or in my case WILL be working hard for the money. yesterday chatoyya and i drove all over columbia picking up applications..when i say "all over" i mean just at the mall...but we did get a bunch and i turned ones into joann's fabrics and hobby lobby. we're supposed to go back to the mall later today to hand in the ones we picked up yesterday. at this point i don't even care where i work as long as i get a job. thursday i decided i was gonna go home this weekend out of the blue, almost started crying when i found out i didn't have enough money for gas to get there. BUT the brightside is yesterday i discovered that the french quiz i originally thought was the monday after this upcoming monday is really taking place this upcoming monday...in a few days. i never can get any work done while i'm home, so it's probably for the best.

bard college FINALLY posted their application for their curatorial studies ma program...it's really pathetic the number of times i logged on the application website to see if it was posted lol. anyways, it made me really excited to fill it out. i REALLY REALLY REALLY hope i get accepted...i'd be happy to get into any of the schools i'm applying to, but I'm in love with bard and it's been my #1 since i decided to go to grad school for curatorial studies. so fingers have officially been crossed.

moving on...my list of things i want to get as soon as i start getting regular paychecks keeps growing..it's so bad. i can't decide which holga camera i want lol. i really like the classic black because it has a flash, but the other one is purple!!! if i could find a purple holga WITH a flash oh i'd be in there like swimwear!

aren't they pretty?!

had a dream last night that some gangster like guy who ran my town came to visit my apartment building and to keep him from taking all our money and stuff my parents basically promised me to him in marriage. bad thing is in my dream i didn't even have a problem with it...it was so weird...what's also weird is that the guy was really good looking and not that old. but then again it just follows the pattern of me having off the wall dreams.

guess i'll go back to filling out this michael's online application..they said it's supposed to take 45 minutes! not happy about that...but i guess it's worth it since i need a job like 2 months ago..

stupid school

school is dumb.

i can't wait to graduate.

somehow i ended up not getting called on at all today in french class, but then i failed the first quiz. that's what happens in sydney's world, which btw is ruled by karma. *sigh* oh well. thank gooseness it's friday. unfortunately i have no extra spending $$ for booze....uggggh!

i really should stop complaining. maybe i'll get started on my grad school shit again. this morning i decided that even though i want to take a break before grad school, i'm still gonna apply to bard college. if i don't get in for next fall then i'll still go on break. if i do...then yay! so that's my mission.

i miss my puppydog Ginger...i would call home to talk to her (yes i have my parents hold the phone to her ear while i say hi) buuut after the conversation i had with my mom yesterday, i think i'm gonna lay low for awhile..usually that works.

as of now my booskie requirements are as follows: must make me laugh, won't judge me for being messy & eating in bed, and will give me lots of hugs & kisses. now i do have standards but at this point, this is what i want.

last thing: this morning pandora introduced me to lissy trullie....soo good!! florence + the machine pandora station was such a good idea!

ok i'm done rambling...really i'm missing the major fight going on on the bad girls club lol.

until next time!

purple has always been my favorite color

chicago pictures are still on their way....actually to be honest they might just not come at all..which is fine since they're all up on fb already. even though i probably should just put them on here anyway since it's a lot easier than the grief fb put me through...we'll see.

in other news, went on a little shopping trip with katie, a good friend from high school. we had a nice little chat about grad school. told her about my anxiety attack/nervous breakdown. good to know i'm the only one worried about it. then she asked me a question that since i decided what i wanted to study, i've never asked myself, "have you considered taking time off before going to grad school?" idk why, but ever since i figured out that i want to study curatorial studies, that question never crossed my mind. and the more and more i think about it, it sounds like a good idea. still pondering it..

found a cute cute dress for tonight's festivities with bree and kalisha. of course after squeezing into 6 other dresses...i came to the conclusion that i must wear a size XL in forever 21 dresses and not L anymore. which i don't mind, it just sucks realizing that in the dressing room...after i ripped part of the seam on one dress.oops. ended up with an adorable cream smock type dress that goes to about my knees..so excited to wear it.

now i'll admit i personally don't believe in love at first sight...or at least i didn't until we were walking through nordstrom's on our way out:

isn't it GORGEOUS?! i literally stopped dead in my tracks. and i'll admit i'm not one of those girls that follows designers or knows a lot about their collections, but this marc jacobs purse is the bees knees!! i almost cried when i looked at the price $500 :(( if it had been about $450 cheaper i would've spent every dime i had in my wallet to buy it. it makes my heart go pitter patter lol.

tuesday my sperry's from chicago came in:

it's hard to tell, but the patten leather part of the shoe is purple and the plaid is purple/lavender. these stopped me dead in my tracks too. not only did i get them on sale for $30 below the original price, but i got free shipping too!! i've worn them everywhere with everything!

have mentioned how excited i am for the part 1 of the 7th harry potter movie? i am. super super excited! daniel radcliffe looks sooo good now that he's grown out of his awkward teenager "i look like harry potter even when i'm not in costume" phase. can't wait!!

guess that's all for now

forgive me father for i have i sinned

attending catholic school for 7 out of the 21 3/4 years of my life that phrase was nothing new to me, even though thank gooseness i'm not catholic so i got to sit twiddle my thumbs and daydream while my fellow classmates participated in confession

anywayss, moving on to my original point, i admit that self doubt will probably be my downfall..but only if i allow it. i'd consider myself the be pretty confident with relatively high self esteem...but when it comes to academic self esteem i definitely need to work on that. i have tendency to compare myself to more successful peers and put myself down. this really kicked into high gear yesterday when i discovered that columbia university has a master's program in contemporary art curatorial studies. i'm definitely going to apply...just worried about getting in, but my good friend maureen is my designated talk me down from the ledge in terms of my academic future. thank goodness for her.

just started getting into bravo's work of art...i'll admit i bitched about it when i first found out it was coming out, but after watching it, it's sooo good!! i admire the artists on the show for being able to create awesome pieces of art on the spot like that. so cool.

so i'm super broke at the moment. so broke i don't have $ for gas which means i'm basically on lockdown until my parents get back in town. bree is so nice, she really wants to go out tonight and is willing to spot me so i can go out too. she is truly truly my best friend, i would do anything for that girl i swear.

random sidenote: gilmore girls is such an awesome show!! despite the fact that there were basically zero black people in it, it's a pretty fun show..i remember i used to watch it all the time when it was on tv for real and not syndication.

guess that's it on the rambling

i was only trying to get ahead

oh drake...i feel kind of bad, because i prefer boyfriend-like-singing drake much more than celebrity-rapper drake. idk...i like him as a rapper, i think he's really good, but his singing ismuch more appealing to me. i think it's also because it wasn't his mixtape that made me like him, but his interviews and all that jazz instead. regardless, i really like his album (probably mostlybecause he's singing on it) i still can't believe it's jimmy from degrassi!! yes i should bepast that by now, but it's so crazy to me

(via) (via)

antyways, a few days ago i watched this really cool documentary on pbs about the paris opera ballet...*sigh* all my life i've wanted to be a ballerina..clearly that didn't happen..but it was so cool to see the dancers practice, especially without any music. there were many times where the instructor would have them do whatever piece they were rehearsing and at the end give comments on certain parts and the dancers could start from any part of the dance and go through it. one couple did their routine 4 times in a row without stopping!! i have so much respect for dancers.

(via) (via)

(via)

so proud of myself, i asked for a second day to volunteer at the nerman museum, and now i'm going to get to assist with the children's classes. i had so much fun doing that yesterday, especially helping on the tour. what the kids had to say about the artwork was so fun to listen to. it's the closest thing to teaching i could actually handle doing. i also talked to the director of the gallery at the bruce r. watkins cultural center and i'll be starting there soon, giving tours and gallery sitting and such. super super excited for that!!

i also have been doing a lot of thinking about grad school and now i think i'm back to going ahead and putting it for a year to get more experience...idk. it's still up in the air..it's not like i've applied yet.

idk what else to talk about...my secret mission plans are falling into place, which is nice. (i don't want to talk too much about it so i don't jinx myself)

trying to go back to doing the whole more pictures thing...i tried with this post even though none of the pictures are mine..womp womp.

but i swear the wedding pictures are coming up soon...i'm so lazy. i put them up on fb earlier this week and lord knows it's harder there than it is on blogger..oh well.

sho nuff

soo i was on twitter earlier and someone i follow had tweeted about shopping for grad schools, which reminded me that i need to go back to working on my personal statement which i thought that i could rewrite and start with "i like art" and go from there, because it's the most obvious statement. that made me laugh to myself and i'll explain why.

a couple of semesters ago i took a 18th century european art class which happened to be writing intensive. Our first paper was an analysis on Delacroix's painting The Death of Hector. For some reason it me for freaking ever to start it. then i realized i should start with the most obvious and work my way up (down? more specific?) so all i wrote was "Hector is dead". i just about died laughing...i can't explain why i thought it was so funny, but i did. SOO to make a long story short when i thought about starting my personal statement so simply i thought of my art history paper.
my life is so sad lol.

oh speaking of art history papers, i really want to read my rococo paper to someone...it's sooo unbelievably good!!! i would read it to my little brother, but it's about sex. i might be able to convince p to listen to it....it would take a lot of convincing lol.

antyways, i felt so bad and unamerican, because i was watching obama's lastest speech about the oil spill in the gulf aaannnd i definitely fell asleep lol. oh wells.

guess that's all for now.

location location location

(weheartit)

sooo while i was studying this afternoon (studying= staring off into space and daydreaming while occasionally highlighting my modern art book) i kept thinking about my grad school options and how i could honestly go anywhere..within the east and west coasts of course. then i thought about all the people i know who are making their somewhat future decisions based on their significant others and where they're located. i must say even though i bitch and moan about wanting a relationship, i'm glad i'm not in one, especially with my future being so up in the air. i'm going wherever i want to go for me...not for anyone else. that's such a good feeling to have. don't get me wrong, i totally understand that people would do that and i'm sure i would too if i was currently in a serious relationship, but at the same time...idk. i guess being single for so long has turned me a little pessimistic...oh well.

speaking of grad school, at about 2am this morning i added pratt institute of new york to my grad school list. that makes 3 that are in new york..2 in the city and 1 upstate. i figured i HAVE to get into at least one new york school..idk..i still have some time.

watched some more of the hills today....came to the conclusion that i am definitely definitely getting season 1 of the city. most definitely.

finally finally emailed the art gallery place about volunteering/intershipping (i have a bad habit of turning nouns into verbs...it's fun sometimes). fingers crossed i there's space for me...if not i can always email this other center i'm looking at..i'm so excited.

still raining...

(weheartit)

(weheartit)

decisions decisions...again

so proud of myself, i got up showered dressed and went to the library and got my grad school shizz together. granted it took me an hour or two to get up and going, but i did spend about an hour at the library researching my 4 grad school options. i'm really really proud of myself, because not only did i print off info about the masters programs and how to apply; i ALSO printed off info on tuition/fees, financial aid and any housing stuff they had AND put it in one of those expandable multi folders things. *sigh* i'm super excited. started writing one of the papers that i'll have to submit as part of the application packet.

here are my current top 4 choices:

1. California College of the Arts in San Francisco- Curatorial Studies

2. Bard College, Hudson on the River, NY- Curatorial Studies

3. School of the Art Institute of Chicago- Arts Administration and Policy

4. NYU- Visual Arts Administrations

so yea there they goes.....i have to admit i kind of cheated with the programs i chose, because i 1. don't have to take the gre (thank gooseness!!) and 2. don't have to know a foreign language (thank gooseness again!) like i would if i was applying to an art history masters program.

i know myself pretty well and this order will probably change...i honestly can't choose between east and west coast..i loved loved LOVED california and i know i would like san francisco BUT there's something about new york that makes me want to go there...i guess never being there plays a large role. and even though bard college is only about 2 hours away from the actual city i'm sure if i attended there i visit nyc whenever. idk..we shall see. ..guess i wouldn't mind going to chicago either...i just know that's as midwest as i want to get for grad school.

in other news, i've been so happy lately...i love being happy for no reason..it makes life a lot more enjoyable. i kicked major pootang in my rococo presentation yesterday. none of classmates had "constructive" criticisms and my professor thought the information i presented for my paper was well thought out and all that jazz. such a relief considering how nervous i was and how unprepared i felt. not i just have to sit and write the actual paper.

currently watching the hills marathon...i prefer the city over the hills...i like whitney...and it doesn't hurt that the city is shot in ny.

guess that's all...going back to enjoying this crazy rainy spring day in bed.

school schmool

welp i'm officially back from spring break..booo. we'll see how long it takes for me to unpack this time lol

i have about 250,000 pictures to go through, so as soon as i get organized i'll get my post on

overall san diego was AMAZING! definitely looking into grad school in california. the weather there is soo unbelievable nice all the time! so now i have to choose between the 2 coasts. decisions decisions.

i have to admit that i'm excited to be in class again...yay for seeing the new boy again!

also my my one hour/credit geology class about natural disasters starts tomorrow..it should be interesting, one of our books is called "apocalypse" (so dramatic)

guess that's all for now

ps watched fantastic mr. fox yesterday....it was sooo cute and hilarious!! "what the cuss?!" lol definitely gonna start saying that instead of cussing lol

school days

adding the school of art institute of chicago to my grad school list, even though bard college is where i really really want to go. saic has some graduate programs based in contemporary art, however i had to read through them a couple times, because they all sounded exactly alike, but with different names.

this whole process reminds me of when i was a junior in high school preparing for the college application process. even though i really wanted to go to washu, mizzou was THE only place i applied to..and i applied early too. i hear all the time that it's not a good idea to only apply to one school, but when i get an idea in my head you can't tell me nothing! i knew i was going to mizzou, there was no question in my mind...thank goodness they let me in, because i had NO back ups.


...i have a really really bad habit of pulling my hair out when it gets to be longer than an inch..i know i shouldn't but for some reason i can't help it.

plans for the future take #973

so i have officially decided that next fall (if i get accepted) i will be attending bard college as a master's student (candidate? idk what they're called) in the 2 year curatorial studies graduate program.

i have FINALLY decided what i want to do. praying that i don't change my mind.

i honestly don't think i will...it's exactly EXACTLY spot on with my career choice.

i'm excited..as much as i've bitched about grad school i realized it's the art history aspect that i'm not really feeling. but this program at bard is based on curatorial studies within contemporary art:

"The graduate program at the Center for Curatorial Studies at Bard College provides practical training and experience in a museum setting and an intensive course of study in the history of the contemporary visual arts, the institutions and practices of exhibition making, and the theory and criticism of the visual arts in the modern period. The program is broadly interdisciplinary.

Its faculty includes curators and other museum professionals, scholars in the humanities and social sciences, artists, and critics.

The curriculum is specifically designed to deepen students understanding of the intellectual and practical tasks of curating exhibitions of contemporary art, particularly in the complex social and cultural situations of present-day urban arts institutions, and to help students improve their interpretive and critical writing.

The Center initiated its graduate program in curatorial studies in the fall of 1994. More than a hundred curators, critics, scholars, artists, and other arts professionals have taught seminars or lectured in practicums and courses since the program began."

i'm keeping my plans quiet for awhile, because bard is located in annandale-on-hudson, ny (i know weird name huh?) anyways i'm keeping the deets to myself since i recently found out that it's about 2 hours from nyc and i don't want people thinking i'm only going b.c ex-lovah is in nyc. this is completely not the case. i really REALLY like the program. idk we'll see..i still have some time to prepare and all the jazz...

excitement!!

death by art history

TGIF! lord have mercy. i really can't celebrate too much considering how much shizz i have to do in order to prepare for midterms and all that jazz.

i kinda felt bad today, because i'm in this arts of the rococo class every friday from 2-4pm (i know i know the time is crazy, but i like the professor) and we have readings every week except for the weeks when class is cancelled. for this week we had to read this book:

i tried to read it i really did...ok i didn't try that hard..i started the introduction, but never finished. one thing that annoys me about reading books for school is the length of the introduction in some books....SO many people make their introductions as long as the chapters in their books...WHY?! it's so aggrevating. the introduction should make me WANT to read the rest of the book (besides of course being forced to read it for class) it shouldn't make me want to throw it across the room. but then in class my professor admitted that it was hard to read so i stopped feeling bad. as much as i like him, i'm scared to death of him. he's a really nice guy and an excellent teacher but he really intimidates me for some reason.

anyways, since i'm taking 3 classes with grad students the topic of the work grad students do always comes up. the thought of what grad school entails makes me shudder. especially today in my rococo class, because my professor asked a semi-difficult question about a piece of sculpture we were discussing; and after about 15 seconds of silence, he commented by saying answering these kind of questions are a part of grad school work and research and writing and blah blah. i just stared at him....

via google search: freaking out

i will gladly pass thank you.

antyways, so last night (usually when i say "last night" it really means 2-3-4 in the morning) i was trying to go to sleep and remembered that for some reason i can't be the first person to fall asleep when it's me +1. then i remembered how ex-lovah was always sweet enough to wait until i fell asleep until he went to sleep since i'm weird...i always loved that.

he was a sneaky fella

it's our anniversary

(did i spell that right?)
anyways, today marks the one year anniversary of the election of the first black us president barack obama...to this day i am still amazed he is our president (in a good way) normally this happens when i see him on tv or pictures of the him and his family together. it really warms my heart to know that my first time voting was voting for the first black president. my mom used to always tell me that you never forget voting in your first presidential election (hers was jimmy carter) now i really won't forget..it'll be a story to tell my grand-nephews/nieces (see what i did there, didn't say grandkids b.c i'm not having kids! lol. sorry thought that was really clever of me)

i'm currently laying in bed..it's alomst 2 in the afternoon. couldn't get to sleep last night was up until at least 3:30am. woke up before my alarm went off this morning and could not bring myself to get out of bed..i've been telling people i overslept. after i decided not to go to my first class i went back to sleep ignoring the fact that i had a 2nd class. i'm such a bad student...but at the moment i don't care. i had a rough night emotionally...cried about ex-lovah even though i kept trying to distract myself so i wouldn't think about bad things. didn't really help. as a result i don't feel like doing anything for the time being....had my breakfast/lunch which consisted of me eating my brownie mound with a fork in bed...i still need to shower and brush my teeth and all that jazz. don't really want to. most likely i'll end up staying in bed reading my favorite blog this is probably going to sound weird but *sidenote time: anytime someone starts a sentence with a phrase like that, or "i'm not racist, but" or "i'm not trying to sound mean, but" 100 times out of 100 they are going to say something along the lines of whatever the sentence started with...that being said my upcoming statement will most likely sound weird* when i'm feeling down and out and super sad i always read the aforementioned blog...i start from the very beginning. idk what it is, but it makes me feel so much better about finding love. the last time i read it all the way through i favorited my favorite posts (super weird i know) here they are:

http://taza-and-husband.blogspot.com/2008/11/i-they-are-called-butterflies.html

http://taza-and-husband.blogspot.com/2009/03/what-well-miss-about-nyc-part-5.html

ok i may have lied, i forgot to favorite the posts until i was almost at the end, nevertheless these 2 are really good. i think this blog is good for anyone questioning love...i know i definitely have...it helps me to realize i can't give up on my search and keep hope alive

that's all i guess....

things n more things

a list to remember for future reference...b.c lord knows i'll forget:

boston university
american university
georgetown university
university of maryland
george mason university
ohio state university
washu
umkc
uic
syracuse?
university of virgina

....list of possible grad schools....although i decided to take time off before attending, i decded to make a list because i seriously have no idea where i want to go..i've narrowed it down to the region that i want to go to ...northeast..with a few midwest stragglers. i would love love LOVE! to study in d.c. idk...we shall see...

A long long time ago...

'Ello! ...it always feels weird saying "hello" to a non-someone...anyways where should I start? how about the most heart-wrenching? ok!

For the past week my very bestest bestie in the whole wide world is visiting her le-boyfriend in Cali. i was really worried they weren't going to see each other til august....we can't be having that...but it all worked out!!! they are sooooooo cute together!! yay for love!!

right now I'm watching ghostbusters 2..loves it! not as much as ghostbusters 1, but it'll do. can I just say that the whole concept of grad school is dumb and overrated?! it is! and I really really don't want to go...I hate to say it but the main reason I'm going is so I could live in another city...and to eventually make good $$. the only problem I'm running into is my rediculously horrible of a gpa...i decided to stay an extra year to keep working on it..it sucks. being an average student in high school was ok...but that definitely doesn't cut it once you get to college. UGH! and this whole OPERATION FIND SYDNEY A COMPANION is NOT working out whatsoever...although I guess it doesn't help that no is here in columbia for the summer and I really don't put myself out there for the guys I really want to date..blurg. It's just that whenever I've been in any kind of relationship with a guy he's always approached me...I've never had to really do the chasing. I guess I should be grateful for that, but it doesn't help my situation...ugh again.

I have no idea what i want to do with my life...I know I want to be a curator...I want to end up in either d.c. chicago or nyc....idk

tomorrow I have to go see a cardiologist because apparently i have a rapid heartbeat. I'm hoping i don't have heart disease...then i'll have to hear all the crap about excercising and eating right again....not really up for hearing that again.

1 1/2 months until my 21st birthday? I'm suuuuper excited to get piss ass wasted drunk legally! can't wait! not sure if i want a party or just go bar hopping...not really big on the bar scene here, but I guess I have some time to think it about. i know it sounds really sad, but I really want a bf by the time my bday rolls around...or at least a guy who I'm dating exclusively....not really sure WHY but it would be nice to have one.....is it weird to fb friend someone who i've never spoken to, but who's seen me on an almost daily basis? i'll admit that I request ppl who've i've never said two words to sometimes, but this guy i definitely have a crush on this guy...he's the epitome of my type.

i have to admit the plain white t's always come up with some catchy songs/videos.this one made me tear up..it's great:




(i forgot they sang that "hate is a strong a word" song ...loves it!)

this song has some pretty good memories associated with it...it's still hard to listen to without thinking about those memories...but it's all good...still an awesome to listen to..especially when it's played on the guitar




I guess that's all for now...adios!